New Essay: All You Are Being Asked
Back in March, when 2020 was just starting to become what it would become, I wrote an essay about how it felt to be alive. That essay, “All You Are Being Asked,” was published in an e-book, Art in the Time of COVID-19, featuring words and images from artists around the world. You can buy a copy here, and I’m including my essay below, too.
All You Are Being Asked
The person you have not seen for six years except for on the screen where you are seeing him now is saying in all caps that you should not leave your house for any reason. The person you like to talk to at dinner parties is saying you should stop sitting in your warm house looking at the internet and instead get out there and help those who need help. The person you don’t recall ever meeting is saying you should buy gift cards for this small business and the person over whose wedding you presided is saying you should donate to that nonprofit and the person who lost her daughter last month does not seem to be saying much at all. The person you met at a potluck is saying he misses sports. The first person you ever kissed is saying this is a crucial time to support sex workers. The person you are kissing now is beside you on the couch telling the internet what they have done off the internet and you wonder what the internet thinks of you since you have not yet told the internet much at all. The person you had a crush on in high school is saying that the person named Michael Bublé is saying that your grandparents were asked to go to war and all you are being asked to do is sit on the couch. The person who works at Amazon is saying that all they want to do is sit on the couch but Jeff Bezos wants them to stay at work so you can buy and watch and eat things from your couch. The person who shares a backyard with you is grilling meat and waving over the fence that splits your yards and his face is the exact same size as the faces you have been seeing on the internet. The person you almost made out with while drunk a decade ago is saying that they were wrong when they said eight days ago that this is a good time to scoop up cheap airline tickets and what this person is saying now is that they are very angry at people who are still scooping up cheap airline tickets and going to places where they will maybe get drunk and almost make out with other people who might be carrying inside of them something they are not yet aware of. The person who is your dad has weak lungs. The person who is your mom wants to try FaceTime. The person who was your college RA is saying that yes we need to flatten the curve but let’s not forget that there is another curve and that that curve trends not up but down and that so many people who are not on your internet are about to fall off of it and into some dark place that doesn’t show up on graph paper. The person who is a nurse in Italy is saying that watching you is like watching a horror film. The person who is a teacher is telling you to watch this film of a dog leaping into a leaf pile. The person who lives in the house across the street from the house where you are on a couch looking at the video of the dog leaping into a leaf pile is in his yard with his daughter and they are sitting in a tent looking at a screen but you cannot see what is on it. The person who is your cousin and the person who is your governor and the person who two months ago sold you a six-pack and the person and the person and the person and the person are all saying that all you are being asked to do is act quickly and help others and stay inside and get fresh air and stay calm and stay vigilant and give money and save money and stay connected and self-connect and be patient and be proactive and do and don’t and I and they and we and you and you wonder why you are struggling to breathe.
